Mid-Week Thoughts - About Child Abuse

Yet again we read of the death of a toddler. . This time around it concerned a 2-year old toddler, who, it was reported, may have been physically abused because of the “bruises, including on her private parts” found on her body.

All the main local dailies carried this story, which is good, as highlighting such cases helps to remind us of this social problem of child abuse prevailing in our country and of the need to find ways to protect the children.

One can also add that besides reporting child abuse stories, the media has also been helpful to NGOs and the like by giving publicity to their campaigns to promote awareness of the problem.

For example, today’s NST supplement CityLife has a piece on the Protect and Save the Children Association of Selangor and Kuala Lumpur and its “Adopt a Bear” campaign to highlight child sexual abuse. At RM19.90 each, the three bears available, Sid the Blind Bear needs you to see for him, Martin the Deaf Bear needs you to hear for him and Carl the Mute Bear needs you to speak for him. A representation of children “who need adults to help them listen and speak up to fight sexual abuse”.

And so it amazes me, when a few local dailies, apparently concerned with child abuse, throw in their lot with an education center to organize the “National Multiple Intelligence 2004 Challenge” to discover a young Malaysian prodigy.

You may ask what is so wrong about organizing this competition.

The thing that is wrong is that the competition is for kindergarten children, aged five and six.

Consider this –


1. the competition will be run over 3 months, starting with the preliminary rounds in June, then to the Semis in August and finally the Finals at One Utama Shopping Centre on 22nd. September.

2. each of the children will have to demonstrate his/her abilities –

a) in story-telling
b) singing or playing percussion instruments
c) performing a dance, hula-hoop demo or gymnastics
d) design creative step (whatever that means) and
e) in mathematical and analytical problems solving


You tell me, whether subjecting five and six year olds to all this is not wrong.

One can imagine the stress and strain that will be created for the children, more so if they have kiasu parents who obviously will penciled in “training sessions” and what nots in preparing their children for the competition. And what about the psychological impact on some of the children who are not able to perform up to expectations?

This is child abuse, I say. The only difference is that there are no physical scars. But the unseen ones, like psychological scars, are just as painful. This is too costly a price to pay for whatever mileage the dailies and education center can get for their business or for a parent to get to gloat over how good his child is.

In fact, in Malaysia, it is more likely that cases of children being subjected to emotional and mental abuse far exceeds physical abuse.

The demands parents put onto their children are common knowledge. They may have good intentions but very often in the drive to make these children meet expectations (be it personal or society’s) they hurt the poor kids.

Clinical psychologist, Teoh Hsein Jin, writing a comment piece titled Ask too much and you may destroy your children for the Chisel and Stone column of NST two Mondays ago has this to say –

In a society where a paper qualification appears to be the
prerequisite for a career, everybody wants their children to become
professionals. I wonder if parents are becoming overly unrealistic in
their expectations.

Just think about it, some children do not have the aptitude, others
are being taught in a way that does not match their learning style,
and even if the child is willing to learn, the teachers and classroom
conditions may be in no state for learning to take place.

Where are our expectations of children going today? Do more have to
suffer torture, humiliation or suicide before we wake up to what is
going on?

In short, will the other type of abuse also get our attention and condemnation.