Of the Ederly and The Young

As is my habit, every lazy weekend is spent reading comment or opinion pieces rather than news items. This week it was no different except that 2 pieces “tug at my heart strings” - one made me realized how lucky or “blessed” (as some would prefer to call it) the missus and I are and the other something I can relate to.

Old and Alone by Shareem Amry (Nuance. Sunday. 2/11/03)

Shareem wrote of her visit to the National Registration Dept. in P.J. to apply for the new MyKad and her observation of a “fragile-looking elderly couple(‘s)” seemingly helplessness at their attempt to get the new cards. And she has this to say –

Where were their children, grandchildren, or friends? Was there no one in their lives they could turn to for this small favour?

There were other elderly people in the crowd who seemed to be on their own, including a trio of women, one of whom needed a one-handed walker to get around. On his way back from the washroom my father ended up helping another aged gentleman, who couldn’t even get his pen to work and was struggling to write his name down.

One colleague wasn’t surprised by this sorry tale: Every Chinese New Year she and her group of pals take turns hosting an elderly friend who has nowhere else to go. Her two adult children who are still in the country don’t seem interested in having their mother over for the traditional family reunion.

Those of us who were at the NRD office that day should be getting our Smartcard ICs in about two months. It’s good to have technology at your fingertips, but it’s also sobering to know that in this same day and age, the elderly are relying more and more on the kindness of friends and strangers to get by.

Shareem is correct. Where have all the good sons and daughters gone?

And it is not peculiar to our country only. A few years ago our neighbor down south had to resort to legislation to “force” children to care for their parents.

Maybe the extended family system is now archaic, replaced by the conjugal family. A sign of the times, prompted by economic reasons and also the urban drift. And with progress values have also changed, “filial” is no longer in the vocabulary of many. Who are we to passed judgments, then?

But still, we are not without feelings. Is it so difficult to love and care whatever your station in life?


Strict dad, doting Tok Det by Sharon Kam (The Sun Special Focus. 31/10/02)

From the overload of writings about our ex-PM, I found this article interesting. It showed the personal side of the Tun.

Kam wrote that “while Mahathir had wielded the big stick with his own children, he now treats his grandchildren with kid’s gloves.” She added that “Mahathir’s 15 grand-children, most of them under 10 years of age, can get away with anything with their grandparents…..and they can call him at Seri Perdana any time.”

And like all daughters (and sons), Marina Mahathir was quoted in the article as complaining about her father’s “double standards” .

“At that time my daughter was still a baby. She was being naughty so I just spanked her a bit. Wah, suddenly I hear my dad scolding, ‘Don’t touch my granddaughter!’ Amboi,” Kam quoted her.

Sounds all too familiar. The power these little imps, devils, rascals, darlings, sweethearts (or whatever you call them) have over us – aunties, uncles, mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers and Prime Ministers too.

So Tun, despite all that has been said, you have a heart too. Happy retirement.